Really Putting His Foot In It

(My older brother and I are at the skating rink. I’m tall — six feet- and he’s about average — 5’7” — but we wear the same shoe size, which is a reasonable size for a guy, but rather large for a girl like me and hard to find in women’s sizes. As such, I decide to ask for my skates in men’s sizes, and this happens when we get to the skate rental:)

Brother: *to rental attendant* “Yeah, can I get a nine?”

Rental Attendant: “Sure, man. And how about you?” *looks at me*

Me: “Same as him.”

Rental Attendant: *looking skeptical* “Uh, okay, sure. Coming right up.”

(He goes to the back to get skates and then returns with two pairs of skates that are clearly not the same size. One is a women’s nine and one is a men’s nine. It’s an understandable mistake. He gives the men’s skates to my brother and starts to hand the women’s skates to me.)

Me: “Oh, no, I meant I wanted the same size that he got.”

Rental Attendant: “You mean a men’s nine?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s what I meant.”

(I have always thought that “their jaw dropped” was an inaccurate representation of shock, but then I see this guy’s jaw quite literally drop.)

Rental Attendant: *incredibly loudly* “What? Really? D***, girl, your feet are huge!”

Me: *a little surprised and quite embarrassed* “Yeah, um, I know. Can I just get my skates, please?”

(The rental attendant goes to the back to change out the skates, all the while muttering about huge feet. He brings my new skates out, and my brother and I go to put them on.)

Brother: *while tying skates* “How is he less okay with someone your size having big feet than a short guy like me?”

Me: *shrugs* “I don’t know. Weird logic.”