Really Feline This Motherhood Thing

(I’m sitting across the dining room table from my mom. She is attempting to read the coupons page of a newspaper, laid out across the table in front of her, when our cat comes over and lays down on it. After a few moments:)

Mom: “Pet him. Try to get him to come over to you.”

(I reach over and pet him. He flinches. I start tapping on the table in front of me, trying to attract him.)

Me: “Come here, [Cat].”

(He doesn’t move or even look at me. After doing this for a little bit, I reach over and grab another page of the newspaper and lay it out in front me, then start tapping it.)

Me: “Look: you can lay here.”

(He still doesn’t move or even look at me.)

Mom: “Open it. Pretend to read it.”

(I do. Less than five seconds later, he stands up and walks over to lay down on my newspaper.)

Me: “That should not have worked.” *to the cat* “You are spoiled, you know that?”

Mom: “I think I’ve proven my skill as a mom.”