Reality Needs To Step Aside

(My parents are both remarried and have both had more children, but don’t talk to each other.)

Dad: *to me* “How many brothers and sisters do you have now? Nine?”

Me: “Close. I have ten.”

Stepmom: “Half of them don’t count.”

Me: “Why not?”

Stepmom: “They’re your stepfather’s kids. They’re not really your siblings. They’re fake.”

Me: “Uh, yes they do, because they’re my mom’s kids, too. Besides, if you wanna follow that logic then I’m an only child because if his kids don’t count, none of yours do either. All I have is fake brothers and sisters.”

Half-Sister: *yells from her room* “HEY! I’M REAL!”

Me: “Not according to our mom you’re not!”

Dad: “They’re definitely sisters.”