Read My Tulips

(A woman comes in and, since I’m standing near the front of the store, she walks right to me.)

Customer: “Do you work here?” *our favorite question… as though the shirt with the company logo isn’t a dead giveaway*

Me: “Yes. Can I help you?”

Customer: “I know you sell flowers, but do you sell flower bulbs?”

Me: “At the moment we do carry some seasonal bulbs. They are amaryllis bulbs, just for the holiday season. They’re about four dollars each.”

Customer: “No, no, I know about those. I need about forty hyacinth bulbs.”

Me: “I’m afraid we don’t generally carry bulbs for planting. We only have these amaryllis bulbs as a decorative holiday item.”

Customer: “Well, just FYI, Home Depot doesn’t have hyacinth bulbs, either. They only have tulip bulbs. And I. DON’T. DO. TULIPS!”