Rated B For Bad Parenting

I work in a toy store. A woman comes in shortly after the release of a very notorious and much-beloved game.

Customer: “I want to buy a video game for my son.”

Her son, an adorable kid but really young, peeks out at me from behind her.

Me: “Absolutely, miss. What game would you like to buy?”

She looks down at the kid and he nods to her as she looks at me.

Customer: “We would like to buy a copy of Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.”

I look down at the kid and figure he can’t be over ten.

I stammer:

Me: “Vice… Vice City… are you sure?”

Customer: *Miffed* “You heard me, GTA: Vice City.”

Me: *Still half-stunned* “Ma’am, I must warn you that this is an M-rated game. Your son may be too young for the—”

The woman completely interrupts my warning, sounding angry.

Customer: “Grand Theft Auto: Vice City is the game my child wants, and that is the game he will get!”

Me: “I absolutely understand, but you see, the game contains material that wouldn’t be appropriate for someone his age. There’s a ton of violence… cop-killing… hook—”

Customer: *Cutting me off AGAIN* “I DON’T CARE! JUST GIVE ME THE D*** GAME!”

I open up the glass door, grab a copy of “Vice City,” blinking hard as I look at it, and set it down on the counter to scan it.

Me: “All right, ma’am, that will be [price].”

She hands me the cash while she huffs.

Customer: “Why do these things cost so d*** much?”

I just give her my usual speech at the end of the transaction, thanking her for shopping at our store.

I turn to my manager after the customer walks out with her son.

Me: “This will not end well…”

Beside me, my manager just gives a stoic nod.

Cut to the VERY NEXT DAY.

The woman comes back, absolutely storming in and FUMING. She walks right up to my manager, casting a death-side-glare at me.

Customer: “I need to speak to a manager right now!”

Manager: “I’m the manager. What can I do to help you today?”

Customer: *Slamming the game on the counter* “Your idiot employee sold this game to my eight-year-old son! It has violence and language, and you can kill cops! There are hookers you can have sex with! I WANT MY MONEY BACK RIGHT NOW!”

Manager: *Without missing a beat* “Ma’am, I don’t know if you observed yesterday, but I was standing right next to [My Name], and he was trying to explain all of this to you, but you insisted—”

Customer: “I DON’T CARE! I WANT A REFUND NOW!”

Manager: “If you observe, in the corner, there is a label that states the game rating as M, and if you flip the box over, it states quite clearly in the black and white box at the bottom what objectionable content may be in the game.”

Customer: *Absolutely LIVID* “How the f*** could you sell this game to children?!”

My manager replies more firmly and, let’s face it, a lot less sarcastically than I would have ever been at this point.

Manager: “I’m sorry, but as you have opened the package, the DMCA states — and it is store policy — that we cannot issue a refund for any opened video games at this time. Also, [My Name] did not sell your child this game; he sold the game to you as you were adamant that this was the game you wanted to purchase. I am sorry that you did not enjoy the game, but as the game is obviously not damaged or defective, there is no refund.”

Customer: “YOU KNOW WHAT?! F*** BOTH OF YOU!”

And with that, she finally picks up the game and storms out.

[Manager] and I exchange glances, and at the same time, we say:

Manager & Me: “What… the… f***?”

There would have been a way for her to return it, and we could have told her about it even if corporate would not have liked it one bit. We didn’t take back the receipts or issue new ones on games, just replaced defective product with another product. She could have taken that game to a different [Store] or just come in at a different time and said she discovered that it was inappropriate when she saw the rating. But not for her; she had to pay the a**hole tax.