Rake ‘Em Across The Coals

I’ve just come home from a cycling tour which took a little longer than I thought and therefore was quite tiresome. My wife has been working in the garden and I promised to help her out a little more.

Wife: “Can you go buy us a rake? I need a metal kind. I’ve sent you a picture to make sure.”

She sent me a screenshot from Google. One of the pictures in the screenshot is from the website of a certain hardware store, which is not the nearby hardware store in our village.

Me: “Okay. Can do. But… wait. Are they open during the health crisis?”

Wife: “I checked. The website says they are.”

This seems odd to me, so I check, too.

Me: “This says they only do pickup.”

Wife: “The site I checked claimed it was open.”

I get somewhat suspicious. I have a tendency to read stuff too hastily, but she has the tendency to interpret stuff a little differently than I do.

Me: “I really think they aren’t open.”

Wife: *Sighs* “Just go. If not, what does it matter?”

Me: “Fair enough.”

I take out my bicycle again.

Wife: “You want to carry a rake while cycling? That’s not practical, dear.”

Me: “I’m quite sure I can manage.”

Wife: “Darling, please. That’s not a good idea, and it’s absolutely not necessary for such a short distance. It’s a one-minute walk.”

No, it isn’t, I think. [Nearby Hardware Store] is a ten-minute walk. I am getting annoyed, but I have the feeling I’m not winning the discussion, so I take the passive-aggressive route. (Yes, it’s petty.) I decide to go down to [Nearby Hardware Store] like she asked, stand in line for ten minutes, ask them if they only do pickup, and then go back to tell her she was wrong. This goes as predicted.

Me: “Good afternoon. Is it pickup only?”

Employee: “Yes, do you have an appointment?”

Me: “No. Sorry to bother.”

Employee: “What are you looking for, then, sir?”

Me: “Oh, a metal rake. Like this one.” *Shows the picture*

Employee: “I might have one like that. Shall I take a look?”

Me: “Oh, yes, please.”

It turns out they have one left and I can buy it at the pickup counter after all. I go back home and feel happy that my wife did convince me to go after all.

Me: “I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that they were pickup only. But the good news is that they went into the store to get me this rake anyway. And when they open, I can return it within thirty days.”

Wife: “Oh, but this one is perfect, so there’s no need for that. Thank you, honey!”

We finish the gardening and that’s that. A week later, my wife is checking our finances.

Wife: “Darling, we never went to [Nearby Hardware Store] last week, did we?”

Me: “Yes, I went there. For the rake, remember? We had a whole discussion about it.”

Wife: “Wait… You went to [Nearby Hardware Store]?”

Me: “Yes?”

Wife: “I asked you to go to [Gardening Store at the opposite side of the street].”

Me: *Long pause* “That explains our different findings on the Internet. And why you said it was a one-minute walk.”

When my wife gets tired, she tends to mix up words and names. But I’m quite sure that this time, I was the one who mixed up due to being tired.