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Rage Against The Machine: Empire Edition

, , , , | Right | August 31, 2018

(I’m a British addition to Florida and am currently a telephone gatekeeper at a corporate office. As it goes, I happen to have a well-spoken English accent, which is often an surprise for our Florida-based callers. The mainline phone rings and I give our standard greeting:)

Me: “You’re through to [Company]. [My Name] speaking; how can we help?”

(A very professional woman replies:)

Caller: “I need assistance.”

Me: *politely* “Absolutely, we’d be delighted to help; what can we do for you today?”

Caller: *giving the same stern reply* “I need assistance.”

Me: “No worries. How can we help you today?”

Caller: *far more sternly* “I need to speak to a person.”

Me: *slightly confused now* “You’re speaking with [My Name]. How can we help you today?”

Caller: *clearly frustrated and talking slightly to herself, she snaps out* “I need to speak to a person, not a robot.”

Me: “You’re speaking to a real person; I’m not a robot. How can we help you today?”

(Like the sun moving out from behind a cloud, it dawns on her that the polite, British voice she’s hearing is not part of some automated answering service and belongs to a person. She collapses into giggles.)

Caller: “I’m so sorry. I thought you were a telephone robot.”

(I reassured her that the machines hadn’t yet taken over, that I had a pulse, and that we would be delighted to help her, and she then went on the explain the reason for her call.)

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