Raft Beer

(Three friends and I are at an outdoor adventure park on vacation. The park features the largest man-made white-water rafting attraction in the country, so large that the national team uses it for training at some times during the year. While the park does serve alcohol, there is a strict policy not to over-serve, and there are signs all over the park saying that if it appears that you have consumed alcohol, you WILL NOT be able to white-water raft for the remainder of the day. Prior to each white-water rafting excursion, everyone must sit through a safety and procedures lecture, regardless if you have done so at any other point in the day.)

Worker: “How many of you will be riding?”

Me: “There are four of us”

Worker: “Four? I only count two!”

Me: “Our friends are coming as we speak. They are over in the concession area.”

Worker: “Well, they are not here RIGHT NOW, so they are about to miss the lecture and cannot take this ride. They’ll have to wait for the next one.”

Me: “No, please, they’re running over right now!”

(At this point, I wave and frantically motion to my friends to run to where we are standing. They arrive, but my friend had literally just purchased a beer from the concession stand and was just beginning to drink it.)

Me: “See? Here they are; can we proceed to the lecture now?”

Worker: “Oh, no, no, no!” *motions at the beer* “You’ve been drinking! You cannot white-water raft today!”

(My friend quickly chugs the beer in one swift, almost heroic motion and throws the cup into the wastebasket.)

Worker: “OKAY! YOU GUYS ARE GOOD! PROCEED!”