Racists Lose Every Argument

(My friend and I are at a popular pet store chain picking up food for my snake. While waiting in line, he is trying to teach me a few words in his tribe’s language (Native Creek). He is very clearly not white, dark eyes, long, straight dark hair, copper skin tone, etc. Another customer behind us scoffs and we both look at him but my friend keeps speaking Creek.)

Customer: “You know, he should really learn to speak American if he’s going to be here.”

Friend: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “So you do speak English! Why are you speaking that gibberish, then?”

Me: “He is teaching me some words; he can speak whatever he wants. This is America, right?”

Customer: “Yes, it is! And as an American, he should just speak English!”

(My friend is looking very uncomfortable, as he is pretty shy and sensitive about racism.)

Me: “Sir, he is more American than you could ever wish to be.”

Customer: “How dare you! Look at him! I am the most blue-blooded American you can find! Born and bred!”

Me: *laughs* “His ancestors were here thousands of years before yours or mine even knew America existed.”

(He sputtered and huffed but shut up until we checked out.)