Quarters And Fractions Meets Quarterback Infractions

(I am a petite, soft-spoken female math teacher. [Student] is a football player who is in tutorials because he is in danger of failing my class.)

Student: “Hey, miss, are you going to come to our game this week?”

Me: “Sure, I’ll come support you guys.”

Student: “If you come, do you know enough about football to follow what’s going on?”

Me: “Yes. I think I can follow it. Now can we get back to work on your math?”

Student: “You know, it’s okay to admit you don’t know much about football. I could explain it to you. You see, in football, you have the quarterback, and he—”

Me: “I manage three fantasy teams. I’m a little upset because this week Demarcus Ware injured his quad and is going to sit out for at least three weeks, which means I have to drop him in my IDP team. Now do I have to talk about what records Peyton Manning could break this year, or Matt Schaub’s tendency to throw pick sixes, or do you believe me that I can follow a football game?”

Student: *jaw hangs open* “…You actually know football, but you’re a girl. How do you know football?”

Me: “There’s lots of math and logic in football. It makes sense to me. Now maybe if you learn some of this math, it will make you a better football player.”

Student: “Yeah, okay…” *under his breath* “…how does a girl learn about football?!”