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Putting You To The Testes

, , , , | Right | June 12, 2021

I work at an exotic meat store. We sell everything from Kobe to kangaroo. I have never had a request that we couldn’t fill, until this call:

Me: “[Store], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hello, do you have rabbit testicles?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. We do carry Rocky Mountain oysters, which are bull testicles.”

Caller: “How big are they?”

Me: “About the size of a tennis ball, I think. I can grab some if you’d like the know by the ounce—”

Caller: “No, that won’t do. I need something the size of a walnut.”

Me: “Ah, yeah, I’m sorry, we don’t have anything like that.”

Caller: “Well, where can I find some?”

Me: “I have no idea, sir. I’m sorry.”

Caller: “Why not?”

Me: “I don’t exactly have a list of competitors who sell different sizes of testicles.”

Caller: “But surely you know where they sell them?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, I don’t. I’ve never personally sought out different kinds of testicles to eat.”

The caller hung up.

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