Putting You Into A Real Allergen Pickle

(There was a regular who would come around at least once a week in the drive-thru on my shift. Every single time, some variant of this conversation would happen.)

Regular: “I want a [Famous Sandwich] combo with a bottle of water. No pickles on the sandwich; I’m allergic.”

Me: “Did you still want the sauce on it, then? There’s a LOT of pickles in the sauce.”

Regular: “No, I can have the sauce. Just no pickles.”

(This continues, with me being legally obligated to warn him about the sauce every single time, until the following:)

Me: “There’s a LOT of pickles in the sauce.”

Regular: “No! I still want the sauce. I’m just allergic to the texture of pickles!”

(That’s right: allergic to the ‘texture.’ We all figured he just wanted grounds to demand compensation if we messed up and added them.)