The Yogurt Is The Only Thing Well Cultured

(Note: I speak quite a bit of Spanish, though you wouldn’t know by looking at me. I’m working at a frozen yogurt shop and see a boy and girl in line for yogurt.)

Girl: *in Spanish* “Thank you so much for this. You’re the best boyfriend ever!”

Boy: *in Spanish* “No problem, baby. You can go sit down while I pay.”

(The girl leaves.)

Me: “Your total is $6.38.”

Boy: “Okay. Did you know you’re really hot?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Boy: “You really are! Can I get your number? We should go to dinner or something sometime.”

Me: “Uh, I don’t think your girlfriend would like that.”

Boy: “No, that’s my sister!”

Me: *in Spanish* “It’s really weird that you call your sister ‘baby’. Does she even know that you’re not her boyfriend? You should tell her. Be gentle.”

(The boy turns bright red, grabs his girlfriend, and starts to leave.)

Me: *in Spanish* “Have a great day, pig!”