Putting Them Into An Inappropriate Pickle

(I am in line for the checkout. There is a rather well-to-do mother with her daughter in front of me. The daughter is making a bit of a fuss because she isn’t allowed to get an ice cream. She looks to be about seven or eight.)

Mother: “[Daughter], please be quiet. You’re embarrassing me. If you’re on your good behaviour until we get home, I promise the Naughty-Man won’t bang on your walls tonight.”

Daughter: “Mother, I’m not a child anymore. I have known for years that the Naughty-Man is really just Father and Uncle [Uncle] playing Hide the Pickle!”

(The mother turned red faster than a traffic light and dragged her daughter out of the shop, disregarding any decorum she previously held.)