Putting The ‘Wait’ Into Waitress

| Working | February 1, 2016

(After a long hectic week, I meet my mom for lunch at her favorite restaurant in town. I’m the first to arrive and my mom shows up a couple minutes later. After 10 minutes, our waitress comes back.)

Mom: “We’d like to start off with the mussels.”

Waitress: “Okay.” *she doesn’t write anything down*

Mom: “And for my entree, I would like—”

(Waitress just walks off.)

Me: “…”

(Several minutes go by and we don’t see our waitress at all.)

Other Waiter: “Have you ladies been served?”

Mom: “We put in an appetizer but can we get some water?”

Other Waiter: “And bread?”

Mom: “Yes, please.”

Other Waiter: “Sure, no problem.”

(The other waiter drops off our waters and bread. We still haven’t seen our waitress. Just as we’re about to leave, the waitress shows up with our mussels.)

Waitress: “Oh, you two already have waters.”

Me: “Yeah, one of the other waiters got them for us while you were in the back.”

Waitress: “Oh, good.”

(The waitress walks off again. I’m stunned that she left before getting our entrees but we start eating the mussels. After the mussels, our waitress still isn’t back.)

Other Waiter: “Are you done?”

Me: “Yes.”

Other Waiter: “Okay, let me get this plate from you guys.” *gathers up everything and takes them to the back*

(The waitress finally comes back.)

Waitress: “Okay, what can I get for you ladies?”

Mom: “I would like the salmon salad with extra sesame dressing on the side. I would also like the feta cheese on the side as well.”

Waitress: “Okay.” *again she doesn’t write anything down* “And you?” *turning her head to me*

Me: “I would like the red fish grilled, blue crab crusted, with your seasonal vegetables.”

Waitress: “Okay.”

(She then walks off.)

Mom: “How long do you think it will be for her to come back this time?”

Me: “I’m guessing 15 minutes.”

Mom: “Is she new?”

Me: “She better be new.”

(The other waiter comes with a pitcher of water to re-fill our glasses.)

Mom: “We’re your unofficial table today.”

Other Waiter: *laughs* “It seems that way.”

(Twenty minutes later, we’re pretty much sticking around to see what this waitress does next. She shows up with our orders.)

Mom: “I thought I ordered the feta cheese on the side?”

Waitress: “Oh… well… it’s only surrounding the salmon.”

(The entire bottom of the salmon is coated in feta cheese. Mom begins picking off the cheese. The waitress walks off.)

Me: *watching mom* “It looks like the extra dressing was added to the salad, not on the side.”

Mom: “That’s what I noticed as well. So much for the extra dressing in this tub.” *still picking cheese out of her salad*

(A manager comes to our table.)

Manager: “I understand, ma’am, that your waitress messed up your order. Would you like for me to bring you out a new one?”

Mom: “No, I hate to waste food.”

(My order came out as I correctly albeit the seasonal vegetable have overtaking my plate and pushing my fish to a small corner.)

Me: *shyly giggling* “I guess someone in the back saw that the green beans expire today.”

Mom: “That’s what it looks like.”

(We eat our meals but don’t finish it all. By now, the restaurant is shifting from lunch to dinner so the place has died down. Without a word, the waitress drops off our checks and walks off. I flag down the other waiter.)

Me: “I have a coupon for a free dessert. Do I have to eat it here in order to use the coupon?”

Other Waiter: “No, what would you like?”

Me: “The [dessert].”

Other Waiter: “One [dessert] coming up.”

(A couple minutes, he returns with my dessert in a box. A minute later, waitress comes back to take our check. I like to pay for everything on my card while my mom likes to pay for her meal with her card and tip with cash. The waitress comes back.)

Waitress: “Did you want me to use the cash first and then pay the rest on the card?”

(Mom takes the cash.)

Waitress: “Okay.”

(The waitress walks off again. I can’t help but giggle. Mom rolls her eyes and leans back in her chair. I get my card and am stunned to find five receipts with it. Why she printed off and gave me five identical receipts I don’t know. I add a tip, sign the top one, and leave it on the table.)

Waitress: “Okay, is there anything I can get you two?”

Us: *in unison* “No, we’re good.”

(The waitress walks off while we’re talking.)

Us: *in unison* “Uh… ma’am. Ma’am. MA’AM!”

(The waitress stops and looks at us.)

Me: “Can we get to-go boxes?”

(She simply nods and quickly comes back with boxes for us.)

Mom: “That’s the quickest she’s been all day.”

Me: “I know!”

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