Putting The ‘Straight’ Into ‘Straight To Hell’

(My twin and I are on Skype, and I’m talking about a few minor, embarrassing things I’ve done in the past that I feel guilty about. Note that my twin is gay.)

Me: “I just worry that I’m going straight to Hell sometimes.”

Twin: “Look, I’m already going to Hell for obvious reasons.”

Me: “That’s different! You can’t control that.”

Twin: “Aw, you think my sexuality’s the only thing that will send me to Hell? That’s adorable.”