Putting The Stab In A Stable Childhood

(I am eating dinner at my parents’ house. My three-year-old daughter has been trying to stab me with her fork. My mom is making snorting sounds as she’s struggling not to laugh.)

Daughter: “I’m going to stab you with my fork!”

Me: “No! Eat your food like a big girl!”

Daughter: *continuing to make stabbing gestures and nom-nom sounds* “Get on the fork!”

Me: “Mommy help me!”

(My mom gets up and leaves.)

Mom: “She’s your daughter; you can handle it.”

Me: “Mom! I’m scared! Don’t leave me here!”

(My mom ignores my pleas for help and leaves the dining room. At that moment, my daughter giggles softly, which draws my attention back to her.)

Daughter: *straight faced and pointing her fork menacingly* “Your mama left.”