Putting The Squeeze On Stupid
(I am talking to some of my coworkers about how I want to get a pet snake. I have always loved snakes and have been considering getting one for a while.)
Me: “I think I want to get a ball python, because they don’t get very big, but I would love a boa!”
Coworker: “Why the h*** do you want a snake?”
Me: “Uh, because I like them.”
Coworker: “Wouldn’t you rather have a ferret or a hamster?”
Me: “You’re acting like I have no choice, like it’s a snake or nothing.”
Coworker: “Well, I hope that when you get that snake, it bites you and injects you with poison!”
(Most of my coworkers go silent at that point. They all know I have a bit of a temper. But, instead, I start to laugh.)
Me: “Seriously? Do you have any idea what you are talking about? First of all, it’s not poison; it is venom. Secondly, pythons and boas don’t have venom. They are constrictors, hence the name ‘Boa Constrictor.’ If you are going to be a jerk, at least sound intelligent when you do it!”
(My coworker wouldn’t talk to me for almost a week after that. Now, six months and a new job later, I’ve got my first baby ball python!)
This story is part of our Snakes roundup!
