Putting The Spice Into A Kale Relationship

(My girlfriend and I live with her dad. We’re both sort of hippie foodies. I come home with a bunch of kale for lunch, and kneel, holding it out like a bouquet of flowers. She looks at me and rolls her eyes.)

Girlfriend: “Just so you know: if you propose with kale, I’m saying no.”

Me: “Really? I thought you’d be like, ‘Take me now!'”

(Her father, from behind me, suddenly turns around and faces us.)

Her Father: “What?!”

Me: “Oh, hi…”