Putting The Security Into Social Security

(I work as a collections agent for a major bank in the USA.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [major bank]; my name is Kevin. What can I—”

Customer: “English, ass-h***! Speak English!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m speaking English.”

Customer: “I just want to pay my [other bank’s] credit card. My SSN is [number].”

Me: “Ma’am you are calli—”

Customer: “How you dare to interrupt me! My check account is [number] and my name is [name].”

Me: “Miss, you are calling [major bank], not [other bank].”

Customer: “What?! Who are you? Why are you calling me? I’m going to the police! I want your f****** name, and I want to speak with your supervisor before I go there and shoot someone!”

Me: “Okay…”

(I mute the headset.)

Customer: “What are you waiting for?!”

Me: “I’m waiting for you to tell me why you need to speak to my supervisor. If it was because you called a wrong number and said all you personal info, or maybe because you cursed at me several times, or that you, in a recorded, federal monitored line, threatened to shoot me.”

Customer: “Oh, no! I didn’t say that!”

(I check on the database for her full name with her SSN.)

Me: “Okay, let me put you on hold so I can speak with my supervisor and call the police. Your full name is [full name], right? Your address is [address], and your phone is [phone number].”

(The customer hangs up. I end up having a verbal warning from my boss, along with a free meal from him for “the funniest following-guidelines-call I have ever heard”.)