Putting The ‘R’ Into Refund

(I am working the box office with my manager. A large group of teenage girls dressed like they are going to a club get their turn to purchase tickets.)

Manager: “Make sure you ID them, and let them know if they sneak in, they won’t get a refund.”

(I acknowledge the manager’s comment, and turn to the teenage girls.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [theater]; how may I help you?”

Girl #1: “Can we have tickets to see [R-rated movie]?”

Me: “Do you guys have ID?”

Girl #1: “No.”

Me: “Then I am afraid I can’t sell you the tickets. It’s company policy that you have proper ID to see R-rated movies.”

(The girls walk away angry. They come back a few minutes later after waiting in line again.)

Girl #1: “Can we have tickets to see [G-rated movie]?”

Me: “Sure, your total will be $32. If you try to sneak into the movie you wanted before this one, you will not get a refund. Here are your tickets, enjoy!”

Girl #2: “Why does everyone think we are trying to sneak into a d*** R-rated movie?!”

Girl #3: “I don’t know, but it’s getting really ANNOYING!”

(Not even ten minutes later, the girls come storming out of the theater and toss their tickets up on the counter.)

Girl #3: “We need refunds for this movie.”

Me: “Why do you need a refund for this movie?”

Girl #3: “Because, it already started.”

Me: “Actually, this movie doesn’t start for another ten minutes.”

Girl #3: “Well, I, uh…”

Me: “So why do you need a refund?”

Girl #3: “Because the cop wouldn’t let us in the movie!”

Me: “You mean the cop that is standing by the auditoriums that have the R-rated movies, that are on the complete opposite side of the theater that has the movie you bought tickets for?”

(All four girls give dumbfounded looks.)

Me: “I am sorry; I can’t give you a refund.”

(The girls start making a scene. My manager walks over.)

Manager: “Listen, my employee did her job. She told you she wasn’t going to give you a refund if you tried to sneak into a movie, and you did exactly what she told you not to do. Now, you have two options: you can leave the theater and take your attitudes elsewhere, or I can call the cops and have them remove you from the premises. Which will it be?”

(The girls turn and storm off.)