Putting The Mate Into Roommate

(I am female, and live in a large house with several roommates, most of them men. One morning, I go into the kitchen in my workout clothes and find a strange woman there.)

Her: *very rudely* “Who are you?”

Me: “Um, I live here. Better question is, who are you?”

(At this point, my roommate comes in and puts his arm around her.)

Him: “Babe, this is my roommate, [my name].”

Her: “You live with a girl? Why didn’t you tell me this?”

Him: “What does it matter?”

Her: “It matters a lot that you have some other woman living in your house!” *at me* “You’d better not be up to anything with my man!”

Me: “Okay, a few points of order here. First, I have a boyfriend. Second, I have six male roommates, and I hope you’re not going to accuse me of being ‘up to something’ with all of them. Finally, even if I were single and the kind of person who nails people just because they’re there, I’m really not interested in your dude.”

Her: “Oh, so you think you’re too good for him or something?”

Me: “Okay, since the conversation has just entered Crazytown, it’s time for me to go for my run. Have fun, kids.”

(I leave and can hear her berating him as I walk out the kitchen door. When I get home she’s gone.)

Me: “What the h*** was that about?!”

Him: “Uh… we decided to take a break from each other for a while. I think she might be a bit too jealous.”

Me: “Gee, ya think?”