Putting The A** In Asthma

(We are in science class, and my friend comes up to me with what looks like a tongue depressor, probably just a lollipop stick.)

Friend: “Cough on this.”

Me: “Why?”

Friend: “Just do it!

(I cough on it. He instantly starts rubbing it around in his mouth.)

Me: “What the hell are you doing?”

Friend: “Shut up. I’m trying to get asthma!”

Me: “It’s not contagious.”

Friend: “Shut up. How the hell would you know?”

Me: “I have asthma, maybe?”

(He walks away still sucking the stick. Half an hour later.)

Friend: “Sir, I feel faint. I can’t see straight. I think I have asthma.”

Teacher: “If you had asthma you would find it difficult to breathe.”

Friend: “That, too!” *falls on floor*

(I sincerely hope he was joking.)