Putting His Foot In His Caffeinated Mouth

(We give out complimentary coffee in our store. It’s a big inside joke amongst the employees about how people come in just because there’s free coffee, even though it tastes horrible.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss? You’re out of coffee.”

Me: “Okay. I’ll have somebody make some more.”

Customer: *less than a minute later* “You didn’t make any coffee yet?”

Me: “I can’t make it personally, sir; I have to stay at the desk. Someone is coming to make it; they’ll be down in a few minutes.”

Customer: “Well, you know, I only come here for the free coffee.”

Me: “That’s nice.”

Customer: “So, are you going to make more coffee?”

Me: “…”

Customer: “I only come here for the coffee.”

Me: *later on, to a coworker* “Why are people so obsessed with that coffee? I’d rather die of thirst than drink coffee that tastes like it’s made of feet.”

(My coworker could only laugh helplessly as we watched the customer happily drink his feet-coffee.)