The Floor Should Have Been Plastered

(I am drinking with my friends in a recently finished basement at Friend #1’s house. The carpet is white and brand new. We have all had our fair share of drinks at this point of the evening and are sitting on the floor playing a card game. Friend #2 spills her beer all over the carpet.)

Me: “Oh, no! Quick, someone grab some towels!”

Friend #1: “My parents are going to kill me if this stains.”

(I get some towels and start soaking up the spilled beverage. Friend #2 knocks me out of the way.)

Friend #2: “No, no, no! The carpet needs to be buzzed!”

(She proceeds to not only rub in the spilled alcohol with her hands into the carpet, but actually pours more beer on it. She then proceeds to pass out a few minutes later and we are able to clean up the spill.)

Friend #1: “Well, at least we got that taken care of, I just hope the carpet doesn’t have a hangover in the morning.”