Put Those Worries To Bed(ding)

(I am lying in bed trying to fall asleep when suddenly my husband starts shaking the corner of duvet. I turn to him, and he is lying with his eyes open looking at me, looking (and sounding) totally excited…)

Me: “What are you doing?”

Husband: “I’m capturing the duvet.”

Me: “Huh?”

Husband: “It’s for the meeting. We’re capturing duvets, covers, sheets… any linen.”

Me: “Go back to sleep, honey.”

Husband: “I’m not talking in my sleep. I just can’t explain it to you.”

Me: (humouring him – that’s usually the most fun) “Okay, who else is at this meeting?”

Husband: “Nobody I really know… See, I’m wide awake. I know what I’m talking about.”

Me: “And at the meeting, you have to capture linen?”

Husband: “Yes. See?” *shaking the corner he’s holding on to*

Me: *grabbing onto a corner of my own* “Cool, I can capture linen, too!”

Husband: “You’re teasing me!”

(… and with those words he turned over and went back to sleep, while I was lying trying my best not to burst out laughing. I never knew what he was talking about, because when I asked the next morning, all I could get out of him was ‘This conversation never happened!’)