Put That In The Operational… Uh… Log

CONTENT WARNING: Feces

I’ve been working in retail for ten years, and at the time of this story, I am a manager. Managers are the ones stuck cleaning up anything gross for liability reasons (poop, vomit, blood) whenever they’re found in the store.

I get a call on the radio from the fitting room attendant.

Employee: “Uh… we need a manager in the men’s bathroom. There’s an… issue.”

I am helping a customer, so I answer:

Me: “Okay, I’ll be there in a few.”

A couple of minutes later, I head back. When I reach the fitting rooms, there is a small group of employees standing near the men’s room. One of them says:

Employee: “It’s okay, the other manager went in. She’s dealing with it.”

I don’t want to leave my coworker alone with whatever nightmare is in there, so I head into the bathroom anyway.

As I turn the corner, the stall door swings open.

Inside, I see the other manager hunched over the toilet with a plunger, jamming it up and down. In the bowl is the largest piece of poop I have ever seen, like a slightly deflated football.

Me: *Yelping.* “What’s going on?”

Without even pausing, she looks at me and says in that thick Eastern European accent of hers:

Manager: “Just gonna chop it up into pieces and flush it little by little.”

I slowly back out of the bathroom and spend the rest of my shift trying to forget what I just witnessed.