It Worked To His Credit

(One of my best friends has been having trouble with telemarketers calling his cell phone for almost a year now. No matter how many times he tells them that he’s not interested or that he’s on the national ‘Do Not Call’ registry, they keep calling back. One day the two of us are at a bar, and he gets a call from an unknown number.)

Friend: “Oh no, not another one.”

Me: “Hand me your phone. I’ll take care of it.”

(He hands me his phone, which I then answer.)

Telemarketer: “Hello, may I speak with a Mr. [Name]?”

Me: “You’re talking to him.”

Telemarketer: “Hi, I’m with [Resort Chain]. I’m calling to give you information about—”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m 16, single, and don’t have a credit card.”

Telemarketer: “Have a nice day.” *hangs up*

(My friend stares at me dumbfounded as I hand him his phone back.)

Friend: “Why did you say all of that?”

Me: “I used to work for a call center. Being unqualified takes you off the list faster than the national registry does.”

(It’s been three years, and he hasn’t had a call since.)