Put On ALL The Calendars The Date He Moves Out

(We have a relation living with us, mainly because he can’t afford to live on his own. Over the past year, it’s become obvious that he’s a spendthrift and always spends money on stupid gimmicky things that he “just has to have.” He also buys a lot of these things as gifts.)

Relation: *handing me a calendar full of half-naked men with kittens* “l just had to get this for you.”

Me: *cringing because I hate this sort of thing* “Thanks, but you didn’t have to. It’s just that I don’t really like having pics of half-naked men around.”

Relation: “But you like kittens.”

(Christmas comes and he gets everyone a s***-load of gimmicky gifts, which includes a calendar for me; I actually hang this one in the kitchen to use. It’s now ten days after Christmas and he comes home from yet another day of shopping.)

Relation: “I got this for you.” *hands me a calendar with cats on it*

Me: “Uh, thanks, but I think I’ve got more than enough calendars.”

Relation: “Yeah, maybe, but I just had to buy it for you; you like cats.”

(He’s probably spent close to $80 on calendars for me alone. He does the same thing for others, too; no wonder he can’t afford a place of his own. And owning one cat does not mean I am obsessed with them.)