Forget And Forgive And Forget

(I date a guy for a few months. I know he smokes pot, but it gets to the point that he gets psychologically addicted, and starts withdrawing from the world. We are already spending less and less time together when he stops talking to me altogether. Three months later in a car with my buddies, I get a text from him.)

Boyfriend: “I feel like we’re drifting apart.”

(I show the text to my friends, who know the situation. We all laugh hysterically. I reply.)

Me: “We’ve been apart for three months; you’re a little late on the uptake.”

Boyfriend: “Do you think we could start over? Pretend like we never dated and start fresh?”

Me: “It doesn’t really work like that.”

(I have to say, I had never expected to break up with a guy after being forgotten about!)