Purple Rain

My old roommate NEVER locked the doors. We lived in the mountains, but there were drug houses all up and down the mountain, so I tended to keep everything locked up that I didn’t want getting taken.

Well, he didn’t believe in that, and I ended up having to call the police one night, scared out of my mind home alone with my toddler because this moron left the garage unlocked and there was a junkie rifling through it.

He ended up moving out because:

Roommate: “You just have too many rules.”

D***, I didn’t know basic respect of other people’s s*** was too hard to ask for.

I heard he moved in with another acquaintance and was then kicked out within a week. When I saw said acquaintance in town a few weeks later I asked what had happened.

Acquaintance: “That moron tried to make wine out of grape juice and left it in front of a heater. Bottle exploded. Purple walls all the way out into the hallway and a hole in the ceiling.”

Me: “You should have made that a rule!”