Pure Simulated Evil

(I’m at home playing Sims on my computer, and have created characters for myself and my boyfriend. I’m asking him about careers.)

Me: *lists of a few random careers* “So, any you think you would be interested in?”

Boyfriend: “Wait, Emperor of Evil? That’s a job?”

Me: “Yeah, but—”

Boyfriend: “Emperor of Evil.”

Me: “Are you sure?”

Boyfriend: “Emperor of Evil.”

Me: “Okay. But if you scare the kids I’m gonna be mad.”

Boyfriend: “They’ll be my little minions…”

Me: “Yeah, that’s the other thing I’m afraid of.”

Boyfriend: “Wanna help daddy work, baby? Wanna play princess? Today I’m stealing the crown jewels from the Queen!”

Me: “That’s more Master Thief, which by the way is way more lucrative.”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, but a Master Thief wouldn’t turn the crown jewel into a death ray after, then hold the world ransom or I’ll blow up the moon.”

Me: “That was half Mr. Freeze, half Dr. Evil?”

Boyfriend: “Wanna play Star Wars, kids? We can re-enact the scene where everyone’s on their way to Alderaan!”

Me: “You are NOT blowing up the children!”

Boyfriend: “Not the kids, woman, THE MOON. They will be nowhere near it.”

Me: “I can picture this being an actual conversation between our sims.”

Boyfriend: “I can picture this being an actual conversation in our lives.”