Pump Fiction

To the non-Oregonians out there, you may not know that until August 4, 2023, it was illegal to pump your own gas except in rural areas at night; now we can, but many gas stations still have attendants. I personally prefer to pump my own gas because it is much quicker. I work in medicine and had on scrubs for this entire situation.

Today I pulled up to the station, and there was an attendant, but he was busy, so I got out to pump it myself, no problem. I love it.

A few gallons in, and I notice the attendant run inside to take care of a cash payment. This big truck pulls up to the pump behind me; I’m just chilling watching my money go down the drain with every gallon.

Big truck man honks, I’m minding my own business, and assume it was an accident. Honks again, holding it a little longer, I start panicking, thinking: “Oh no, did I not turn my car off? What is big truck man trying to tell me!?”

I check, and my keys are on my front seat where I usually leave them when getting gas. The dude rolls down his window and starts yelling at me:

Truck Driver: “Why aren’t you pumping my gas right now?!”

Me: “Dude, this is my car.”

Truck Driver: “Okay, but you work here, so stop being lazy and pump my f****** gas!”

I gesture to my scrubs.

Me: “Um, I don’t work here.”

Truck Driver: “Yes, you do, you can’t pump your own gas in Oregon!”

He’s getting noticeably angry and red in the face.

At this point, the attendant emerges and hustles over, so I go back to my car, which has just finished pumping. As I’m removing the nozzle from my tank to leave, I hear the truck guy complaining about how I was blatantly breaking the law, then the attendant explaining to this manchild how the law changed over a month ago, and he could have been pumping his own gas this whole time instead of harassing other customers.