Puffy The Husband Slayer

(Two of my married friends are out to dinner with us. The wife is heavily pregnant and going to give birth any day. She has been getting a little swollen in the final days.)

Husband: “Hey, honey. Are you okay?”

Wife: “No, I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

Husband: “Well, you’re looking a little puffy.”

Wife: *death glare* “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Husband: “You look… pretty when you’re puffy! It’s like a pregnant marshmallow!”