Providing All Sorts Of Aid

, | Friendly | January 16, 2017

(I’m volunteering and badly cut a finger while hanging clothes. I go to the main office, and the first idle person I find is a psychologist I’ve never spoken with before. They are usually busy counseling people who fled from war zones.)

Me: “Hi! Sorry to bother you with trivial stuff, but do you happen to have a bandage?”

Psychologist: *jokingly* “Wonderful, something meaningful for me to do! I can finally apply my degree for the first time today!”

Me: “Yeah, this is obviously a cry for help. My sub-consciousness must have decided that I needed to hurt myself once my skin encountered the manic thrill of touching a coat hanger.”

Psychologist: “Perfect. A challenge. Attempted suicide by self-mutilation.”

(She hands me a bandage.)

Psychologist: “It’s nice to know that my full expertise can be applied to such a demanding case.”

Me: “Thank you for taming my bloodthirsty inner demon!”

(We joked some more, and once I went back to sorting clothes, I tried to be more careful than before. An hour later, however, I managed to cut myself again. Too scared to return to the office and risk making the psychologist worry for real, I worked the rest of the day stitched up with packing tape.)

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