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Prosecco-No-No

, , , , | Right | February 4, 2021

I work in a bar. There is a live band on, and it’s Friday, which means that it’s twice as manic as usual.

We are a small bar with a staff of four. Two are managers — a husband and wife.

A group of mums comes in, people that I recognise because they are on the PTA with me. They all order a bottle of prosecco — between four people— and then another.

The band has just finished playing when this happens.

Mum #1: “Someone stole my prosecco! They took the bottle and threw it away!”

Manager: “We’re really sorry for that. You did order it an hour and a half ago. Are you sure it wasn’t empty?”

Mum #1: “It was not empty! It was almost full! I’ve only had two glasses!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do. If someone did throw it away, it’s because it was empty.”

Mum #2: “I bet they have it behind the bar. I bet they stole it.”

Mum #1: “Yeah!”

Manager: “No one here would do that.”

Mum #1: “You need to empty your bin, right now! I want to see if the bottle is there.”

Manager: “The bin has been emptied several times this evening. It’s unlikely to be in there.”

Mum #1: “What are you going to do? Huh? I need another bottle of prosecco.”

Manager: “No.”

Mum #1: “What?”

Manager: “I said no. Leave. Come back when you’re sober. If you believe that one of my staff stole your bottle, I’ll be more than happy to watch the security footage with you to prove otherwise.”

They leave, but not before shouting this gem:

Mum #2: “Enjoy our prosecco, you thieving c***s!”

My manager followed them both and told them to never come back. Later, we reviewed the security tapes. No one stole the prosecco. It was thrown away because it was empty.

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