It’s Probably A Jennifer Lawrence Movie

, , , , , | Right | April 3, 2018

(In the heyday of the video rental industry, I work at one of the largest national chains. As a big-time film geek, I can often figure out what title an individual is seeking with only the most basic of information.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a movie, and that guy over there—” *points to coworker* “—says I should talk to you.”

Me: “Okay, maybe I can help. Is it a new release or an older film?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Did it come out recently, say, in the last year or two, or is it older?”

Customer: “Why does that matter?”

Me: “Well, that will give me some insight as to where it is in the store.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t know when it came out.”

Me: “Okay, can you tell me what it’s about?”

Customer: “Not really. It just looked good.”

Me: *trying a different tactic* “Do you know who’s in it?”

Customer: “It’s that girl. The one that’s in all those other movies.”

(I can feel my blood pressure rising.)

Me: “I’m afraid I’ll need a little more information than that. Do you know her name, or what other movies she’s been in?”

Customer: *shakes her head* “No. Your coworker said you could help me.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I’m trying, but you’re not giving me much to work with. Can you give me some idea as to what the movie is about?”

Customer: *groaning* “It’s about a girl who goes home.”

Me: *just taking a stab* “Is it Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael?”

Customer: *seemingly appalled* “No! I don’t even know what that is! Look. Are you going to help me or not? I’m looking for that movie. It’s about a girl who goes home!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but that could be any number of movies on our shelves.”

Customer: *shouting* “No, it couldn’t! It’s about a girl who goes home, and it’s got that girl who’s been in those other movies! You’re no help!”

(And with that, she stormed off.)

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