Prison Changed Him

(I’m sitting at home, and get a phone call from one of my brothers.)

Brother: “Hey, if you’re stuck in jail, what do you need to get out?”

Me: “Umm, some dynamite to blow up the walls, because I’m not smart enough to sneak out.”

Brother: “Okay, and after that what do you need?”

Me: “Probably a getaway car, and maybe a phone.”

Brother: “And some money, too, right?”

Me: “Yeah, I guess. Why?”

(My brother explains that he’s getting our mom’s birthday present ready. When asked what she wanted, she said a million dollars, and a way out of prison. For her present, he hid a metal file in her cake, and put together an escape kit that had a birthday card, some chocolate, a passport, and a thousand dollars. Apparently he owes her money. My mom’s birthday comes around, and she is opening her present.)

Mom: “That’s a lot of money. It can’t be real!”

Brother: “No, it is.”

Mom: “Well, take it back! I don’t need all of it.”

(After explaining to her where the money came from, she finally stops trying to give the money back.)