Pretty Good At Following Directions, For A Four-Year-Old

I’m trying to take a shower. By myself.

My four-year-old and ten-month-old are in the bathroom. I have just finished bathing and dressing the ten-month-old.

Me: “Okay, [Four-Year-Old], take your brother outside now, please. I want to finish my shower.”

[Four-Year-Old] guides [Ten-Month-Old] out of the bathroom.

A few minutes pass.

Four-Year-Old: “C’mon, [Ten-Month-Old], let’s go!”

I hear the sounds of the deadbolt being thrown and the front door opening. I am currently drippy and not fit for public.

Me: “Oh, s***.”

Spouse: “No, no, no, no, no! It’s 9:00 pm! You’re not allowed outside alone, anyway! What are you doing?! Don’t you ever do that! Never! Not by yourself, not with your brother — never!”

[Four-Year-Old] begins to cry. I try to explain, hanging out of the bathroom door.

Me: “I’m so sorry, sweetie. I didn’t mean outside the house! I meant outside the bathroom!”