Pressing All The Wrong Buttons

Me: “Thank you for calling [call center]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. I need to know what program is on what channel.”

Me: “The easiest way to find it would be to use the search from your menu.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, press your menu button. Do you see the search option?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Press ‘OK’ on search, and type in the show you are looking for.”

Customer: “Well, can’t you do that for me?”

Me: “No, sir. I have no way to push the button over the phone for you.”

Customer: “Well, I pay you guys enough money that you should press it for me!”

Me: “Unfortunately, sir, we don’t have the capability to reach through the phone and press the button for you.”

Customer: “Why not?”