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Press The Button, Wait For The Comeback  

, , , , , | Friendly | July 3, 2019

(This happens inside an upscale supermarket attached to an assisted care facility. I am waiting for the elevator on my way to the coffee shop on the second floor.)

Old Woman: “You don’t live here, do you?”

Me: “No, ma’am.”

Old Woman: “The stairs are right over there.”

Me: “So I noticed.”

Old Woman: “So, why aren’t you taking them?”

Me: “Because I don’t feel like it.”

Old Woman: “These elevators are for the people who really need them!”

Me: “I’m awaiting hip-replacement surgery. Is that needy enough for you? By the way, are these your elevators?”

Old Woman: “Well, no…”

Me: “GOOD!” 

(I get on the elevator, push the button, and say, as the doors are closing…)

Me: “This one is mine! Yours will be along in a second. Bye!”

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