Pregnant Clause

(I am in the car with my toddler daughter, my friend, and her baby son when my pregnant sister calls me. She’s concerned that she’s being too overly emotional about things. I know she just needs to chill out so this is what my friend hears:)

Me: “No, no, it’s okay. You’re fine. [Sister], you’re pregnant right now, and you can use that for an explanation to get away with anything except for murder.”

(She laughed, and when I hung up the phone my friend burst out laughing.)

Dear readers! This story was originally submitted without a title, to encourage you to come up with a witty submission yourselves. After considering the many amazing suggestions in the comments section, we have come up with the title above. Thank you all for participating; we had a blast reading them!