Pre-pay Or The Highway

(I have just sold a prepaid cell phone to a customer.)

Me: “Okay, sir. Your payment has gone through, and your next payment is due in 90 days.”

Customer: “What? You’ve got to be kidding me! You mean I have to pay every 90 days or they shut me off?”

Me: “Yes, sir. That’s how the prepaid plan works. You have to put at least $20.00 on your account every 90 days to keep your service on.”

Customer: “In that case I don’t want it anymore! You take the phone and just give me my money back! I’ve had this phone for years and never had to do this!”

Me: “I am sorry, sir, but we just accept payments for the parent company. Once the payment is sent, you have to talk to them to try and get a refund. There is nothing I can do for you.”

(This goes on for about ten minutes, just going in circles with him. By this time I have five new customers in the store. Two of the new customers are a pair of very large Samoan brothers who happen to be regulars. Just then, the customer throws his cell phone at me.)

Customer: “You take this d*** thing back! I don’t want it anymore!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I cannot keep your phone. It’s yours and you need to take it with you.”

Customer: “You are s***! Your store is s***! This phone is s***! I will bury you! I will sue you all until all of you don’t even have a cardboard box to live in! I will hunt down your families and make you all pay! And f*** this d*** phone!”

(He throws his phone onto the floor, shattering it into pieces.)

Customer: “I’m going to wait outside until your shift is over, and you’ll get what’s coming to you!”

(As he says all this, he hasn’t noticed the Samoan brothers who have been behind him in the back of the store. One of the brothers finally walks up and taps the irate customer on the shoulder.)

Samoan #1: “Hey little man, I think it’s time to go.”

Customer: “Who the h*** do you think you are talking—”

(He turns as he’s talking to see the brothers, who are about two feet taller and three feet wider than he is. He turns the palest color I have ever seen a human being become.)

Samoan #2: “As my bro said, time to go!”

Customer: “But they are trying to rip me off! Trying to rob me! This is all BS! I am not going anywhere!”

Samoan #1: “You walk out, or we toss you out. Your choice.”

Customer: “I won’t leave until this p**** gives me my money!”

(They each grab an arm, lift him three feet off the ground, and toss him backwards out of the doors. The rest of the customers then begin to clap and cheer for them. I make sure that anytime they come in after that, they get the full employee discount on everything they bought.)