Pranks For Breakfast

(I’m 16, working in McDonald’s over the summer, and for this particular shift I’m taking orders in the drive-thru. It’s about three in the afternoon.)

Me: “Welcome to McDonald’s. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “I’ll have an Egg McMuffin.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, that’s one of our breakfast items, and we stopped serving breakfast at 10:30.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll just have some hash browns.”

Me: “Sadly, that’s another breakfast item.”

Customer: “Hot cakes!”

Me: “Breakfast item again, sir.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll have a Whopper with cheese.”

Me: “I’d be happy to serve you one of those, but they’re sold at the Burger King a block down the road. We have Big Macs.”

Customer: “I’ll just have a drink. Medium Frosty, please.”

Me: “And for that, you’ll have to go to the Wendy’s across the street. We just have regular milkshakes.”

Customer: “Medium Coke, then.”

Me: “Lovely! That’ll be $1.08. Please pull around to the first window.”

(I used the moment it took the car to pull around to take a deep breath before I turned to take the customer’s money, and saw him looking back at me with the biggest grin ever, laughing at himself.)

Me: “Hi, Dad.”