Prank Calls Of Urban Legend

(I’ve taken a lot of weird calls over the years and have looked up a lot of strange books and have always maintained a level of professionalism, but this almost broke me.)

Customer: *older male voice, with a slightly southern accent* “I’m a disabled veteran and need help getting some books.”

Me: “Okay, what are you looking for?”

Customer: “Well, I really like… uh… stuff with ‘urban’ women in them.”

Me: “Ooooookaaay. Um, we’ve got an urban fiction section.”

Customer: “Oh, good. See, I’m a disabled veteran, and I can’t move around that well, so would you pick some out for me?”

Me: *getting progressively more uncomfortable* “Well, I…”

Customer: “I like the urban books because I like black women. I like the way they smell.”

Me: “…uh.”

Customer: *breaks into laughter* “Sorry, [My Name], I’m just f***in’ with you. That was great though, you were serious the whole time!”

Me: “I hate you.”