Postal Paranoia

Me: “All right, ma’am. And may I have your zip code?”

Woman: “No.”

Me: “Well, it’s something I have to take. Don’t worry, we–”

Woman: “No!”

Me: “I, uh–”

Woman: “No! You’re not getting my zip code.”

Me: “Right. Because I’m going to TAKE that zip code and knock on the door of EVERY house in the code just to FIND YOU!”

(The customer left, but I felt a lot better.)