Positively Negative

Me: “Hello, did you find everything you needed today, sir?”

Customer: “Everything.”

(He shoves a pile of baby clothes at me with a big smile.)

Customer: “My wife is pregnant with a baby.”

Me: “Congratulations, sir!”

Customer: “She tested positive yesterday. I’m buying clothes for the baby.”

Me: “Well, that’s very nice, sir. Will this be cash or charge?”

Customer: “I have the test with me.”

Me: “That’s all right, sir. I believe you.”

Customer: “It’s right here.”

(The customer shows me the test.)

Me: “That’s all r–”

(I check closer.)

Me: “Sir, this test is negative.”

Customer: *frowns at test and leaves*