A collection of reader favorites over the years!
(I work as a receptionist for a financial management firm, where I am in charge of answering phones and transferring the callers to the right person.)
Me: “Good morning, you’re through to [firm name]; how may I help you?”
Caller: “Is this 1-800-Flowers?”
Me: “I’m afraid you have the wrong number.”
Caller: “Are you sure?”
Me: “I’m sorry; this number isn’t even 1-800.”
Caller: “Oh, do you have the number for 1-800-Flowers?”
(I recently returned from a study abroad in Brazil. I missed the food and so convince my family to try eating at a Brazilian steakhouse nearby. The hostess gives us some Brazilian snacks to have as appetizers.)
Hostess: “These are pao de queijo, banana frita, and polenta.”
(I notice a slight mispronunciation of one of the words but don’t say anything. She explains how the food is served, takes our drink orders, and leaves.)
Me: *to my family* “She said cheese penis instead of cheese bread.”
This story is part of our Brazil roundup!
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Read the Brazil roundup!
Me: “So, your total comes to $47.63.”
(The customer swipes their card.)
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it seems your card was declined.”
Customer: “Declined? Why?”
Me: “It says here, because of ‘insufficient funds.’”
Customer: “But what does that even mean?”
This story is part of the More-Customers-Bad-With-Money roundup!
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Customer: “Something is wrong with this movie. The box said it was in color, but it’s black and white.”
Me: “Haven’t you ever seen The Wizard of Oz before?”
Customer: “No, but it says ‘color’ on the box.”
Me: “The beginning is in black and white. It will turn to color.”
Customer: “Well, that’s just stupid.”
Grandma: “So, have you got a boyfriend?”
Me: “No, I don’t really like boys.”
Grandma: “Are you telling me you’re a lesbian?”
*awkward pause*
Me: “Yes?”
Grandma: “I thought so. Hey, was that your girlfriend I walked in on last year? She was hot!”
*incredibly awkward pause*
This story is part of our Gorgeous Grandmas roundup!
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