Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Great stories from our entire backlog!

Tastefully Talking Turkey

, , , , , , , , | Right | December 4, 2013

(I am in line waiting to be checked out for some items. The customer ahead of me has paid for his merchandise. As he takes his change, he strikes up a conversation with the young clerk.)

Customer: “I was wondering, are you going to be open on Thanksgiving? I know some stores are starting to do that.”

Clerk: *sighs* “Yes, sir. We’re open until eight pm.”

Customer: “Well, that’s certainly some bulls*** right there!”

Clerk: *laughing* “I’m not allowed to comment, sir.”

Customer: “Well, I am. Please tell your boss you got some resoundingly negative feedback from a customer over that. And, while you’re at it, tell him the same customer gave you resoundingly positive feedback on your service. You’re a very nice young lady. I hope you prosper in life.”

(The customer then walks out, leaving the clerk and me to look at each other in mutual confusion.)

Clerk: “Well, apparently, that just happened.”


This story is part of our Thanksgiving roundup!

Read the next Thanksgiving roundup story!

Read the Thanksgiving roundup!

Abbreviation Nation

| Right | February 13, 2012

Me: “Okay, sir, and the bill-to address?”

Customer: “237 Ooh-sah Highway.”

Me: “Would you mind spelling the highway name for me?”

Customer: “It sounds exactly like it’s spelled.”

Me: “O-O-H-S-A?”

Customer: “What? No! Ooh-sah.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Would you mind spelling it for me?”

Customer: “God. Fine. U-S-A. Ooo-sah!”

Me: “Do you mean US Highway [number]?”

Customer: “I know what road I live on! Ooh-sah!”

Short-Change Con Falls Short Of Change

| Right | April 15, 2013

(I’m working the register. A customer comes to the register with three ice creams.)

Me: “So, is this it for you today?”

Customer: “Yes, sir.”

Me: “Alright your total is $12.75.”

(The customer hands me a $20 bill. I hand him his change.)

Customer: “Where’s the rest of my change?”

Me: “I gave you your change already, sir.”

Customer: “No, you didn’t! I gave you a $100 bill. You’re shorting me $80!”

Me: “Sir, I can assure you that you paid with a $20 bill.”

Customer: “No you can’t, because I paid with a $100 bill! How can they let an incompetent dip-s*** like you handle money? This is a disgrace.”

Me: “Sir, the only disgrace here is you. For starters, company policy states that we can not accept bills larger than $50. If you did give me a $100 bill, I would refuse it and ask for a smaller bill. On top of all that, the $20 you gave me is still on the counter right next to the register.”

(The customer goes silent, and quietly exits the store. He has not been seen at our store since.)

Running Into A Language Harrier

| Working | April 26, 2013

(My family is Chinese. I’m checking out books for five-year-olds. I’m 27.)

Employee: “Oh, is this for your kid?”

Me: “Actually my grandma.”

Employee: “Hahaha, your grandma?! Really? She reads these baby books? What a big baby she is!”

Me: “Well, Chinese is her native language. The English in these books is her level.”

Employee: “Then why the h*** didn’t she learn any English?”

Me: “She is. She spoke as much English as a one-year-old when she came here last year.”

Employee: “Well she’s learning too slowly. She can’t come here and not learn English instantly.”

Me: “Are you serious? She’s trying her best. She’s also enrolled in an English course.”

Employee: “Well, tell her to learn faster!”

Pray It’s To Put The Brain Back In

| Right | June 13, 2011

(We only have access to credit cards in the credit card department. The credit union is closed.)

Caller: “I need to pay my auto loan.”

Me: “I’m sorry, you have reached the credit card department. I would be more than happy to provide you the number for the branch. They can help you tomorrow morning with your loan payment.”

Caller: “I’m having surgery tomorrow. Take my payment.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear you’re having surgery. You can speak to the branch when you get out to make a payment to your auto loan.”

Caller: “I’m donating a kidney to my mother. I can’t call for three weeks.”

(I had a friend donate a kidney. They were not walking around well for two to three weeks, but they could talk the same day.)

Me: “Well, I have good new for you, sir. You should be able to talk in a day or two after surgery so you can speak to the branch.”

Caller: “Well, I’m having brain surgery. I won’t be able to talk for 3 weeks.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Caller: “Have the branch call me back.”

Me: “I’m sorry…I thought you just said you would not be able to speak for 3 weeks. I’m unsure how the branch calling you would be different than you calling them.”

Caller: “I can nod at the phone and let them know it’s me, and pass the phone to my mother…”