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Even Owners Have A Stupid Quota

, , , | Right | March 10, 2008

(A customer gives me a Canadian quarter. I refuse to accept it. He gets angry.)

Me: “Sir, I can’t accept this quarter. It’s Canadian.”

Customer: “So? I got it from somewhere in the US so you must accept it.”

Me: “No, sir, I can not. My drawer will come up short.”

Customer: “It’s not my fault someone gave me this quarter! Why should I take the blame for it? Take the quarter!”

Me: “Oh, I see. So it is my fault, then?”

Customer: “YES! Take the quarter!”

(I take a quarter out of my pocket and then throw that Canadian quarter across the room to a trash can.)

Customer: “Call your manager.”

Me: *smiling* “I am the owner, sir. How can I help you?”

 

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Ink-conceivable

, , , , | Right | April 4, 2010

Customer: “Does this printer use ink?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “And I have to buy the ink separate?”

Me: “Yes, once the ink runs out. It actually costs quite a bit compared to the two dollars this used printer is priced at.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I don’t want that. Where can I get a printer that doesn’t use ink?”


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Failed Aisle 101

| Right | July 16, 2015

(I work the floor at my store, tidying and stocking, so some variation of this event happens to me pretty much every day.)

Customer #1: “Excuse me, I have a question.”

Me: “Sure, how can I hel—”

Customer #2: “HEY, I HAVE A QUESTION!”

Me: “Uh, one second, I’m with this gue—”

Customer #2: “WHERE IS THE GREEN PAPER?!”

Me: *giving them a stern look for interrupting, but eye-agreeing with the other customer that I’ll answer this question so the rude person goes away* “It’s right there on aisle 103.”

Customer #2: “104?”

Me: “103. Right there. You can see the green paper just down the aisle there.”

Customer #2: “104? 104?”

Me: “103.”

Customer #2: “Okay, 104.”

Me: “No, 103. Right. There. 104 does not have paper.”

Customer #2: “Oh, okay, 104. Thanks.” *walks off*

Customer #1: “Well… that was… interesting. You have a lot of patience. Good job. I almost snapped just watching. Anyway, I was going to ask you wha—”

Customer #2: *coming off aisle 104* “YOU TOLD ME WRONG! IT’S NOT ON 104. GET AN EDUCATION! YOU’RE AN IDIOT!” *storms off*

Customer #1: “…I’m so sorry.”

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Don’t Freeze Under Lack Of Management

, , , , , | Working | January 8, 2019

(I work in a bank and catch several suspicious check deposits coming in electronically. Only managers can freeze accounts, so I call my manager right away. I know that my manager is just doing a non-essential daily task that she has hours to complete, because I just spoke to her about twenty minutes ago.)

Manager: “You need to wait; I’m busy.”

Me: “This is really important.”

Manager: “I’ll call you back.”

(I wait about fifteen more minutes and see that another deposit has come in electronically. I then call my manager again.)

Manager: “I. Will. Call. You. Back. Thirty minutes.”

Me: “It’s really, really important.”

Manager: *hangs up*

(I decide to go to a different manager, who agrees with me that the account should be frozen right away, and places the freeze. This goes up to senior management, and a few hours later we get an email congratulating me on catching the suspicious deposits. I’ve saved the bank about $7000.00.)

Manager: “Why did you go to [Other Manager]? I am your manager; you should only go to me.”

Me: “I tried. You would not talk to me.”

Manager: “It was not so important that thirty minutes would make a difference.”

(I show her the time stamps; within four minutes of the freeze being put in place, the customer attempted to transfer $7000 out of their account.)

Manager: “We need to have a little talk about your lack of respect. You made me look stupid.”

Me: “No, you made you look stupid.”

(Thanks to my catch on the freeze, I didn’t get written up for that last comment, and my manager got a stern talking-to.)

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Thinks They’re Trying To Pull The Wool Over Your Eyes

| Right | July 7, 2014

(I work in a wool mill. I’m almost finished for the day, and tired from lifting and weighing yarn, weaving, and answering phones, when a married couple come into the store at the front of the mill. The husband keeps interrupting me.)

Husband: “So, all of these scarves are obviously wool.”

Me: “Nope. We use some wool, but we use a lot of cotton, linen, sil—”

Husband: “Uh-huh. And it’s all Irish wool, of course.”

Me: “No, we don’t actually use Irish wool because it’s not great for wearing. Irish sheep have short, wiry wool that is too—”

Husband: “And why not? You have loads of sheep out there! I’ve seen them!”

Me: “I know our sheep look lovely out there in the field, but their wool mostly goes into carpets and—”

Husband: “Carpets! Where do you get your wool then?”

(At this point, I’m getting a little overwhelmed, and his wife can see that.)

Wife: “[Husband], let the girl finish; she’s trying to answer you. If you’re going to ask a question, wait for the answer.”

(The husband then shuts up and lets me finish my sentence.)

Me: “A lot of our wool comes from Italy and Japan. Warm climates have better wool, but we don’t just use wool from regular old sheep. We have alpaca and camel too, and we’re thinking of using yak next year.”

Wife: “Fascinating! Thank you so much. What’s your name?”

Me: “Oh, my name is [My Name].”

Wife: “I’m so sorry. My husband can get a bit excited when it comes to new things. He thinks he already knows everything about it. Don’t let him get to you. We’ll take these please!”

(She held up six scarves and I folded and bagged them. The husband pouted in the corner. Probably not the first time he’d been told off by his wife!)

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