Great stories from our entire backlog!

The True Appliance Of Science

| Right | August 25, 2014

(I volunteer at a children’s museum in their dinosaur area, where I work in the lab. We work behind a glass window that we keep open so the kids can ask us questions about the bones we are cleaning.)

Every Kid: *completely ignoring me* “Wow! A real dinosaur bone!”

One Awesome Kid: *staring directly at me* “Wow! A real scientist!”

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Freak For Yourself

| Right | June 18, 2012

(I am at a Chinese restaurant with a friend. A group of four settle at a table beside us, including a couple in their 40s and what appears to be a set of their parents. The waitresses are obviously Chinese and speak English with accents.)

Waitress: “What would you like for drinks?”

Older Husband: “Diet Coke, please.”

Waitress: “Sorry, no diet. We ran out.”

Older Wife: “He can only drink diet, though!”

Waitress: “We have no diet. I am sorry!”

Older Wife: “You don’t understand!” *speaks slowly for her* “Only. Diet. Coke!”

Waitress: “But—”

Older Husband: “It’s okay. I will have water, then.”

Waitress: “Okay!” *hurries away, slightly flustered*

Older Wife: *to her husband* “You scared her away!”

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My, Aren’t We Feeling Entitled Today?

, , , , | Right | February 1, 2008

(I work in a restaurant, and one day, I answer the phone.)

Customer: “I’d like a delivery, please.”

Me: “Sorry, we don’t deliver.”

Customer: “I thought you delivered.”

Me: “Sorry, we don’t.”

Customer: “Well, do I get some kind of compensation?”

Me: “Uhhh, no…”

Customer: “You mean I was inconvenienced for all this time and I don’t even get a f****** discount?”

Me: “No…”

Customer: *click*


This story is part of our Demands For Discounts roundup!

Read the next Demands For Discounts roundup story!

Read the Demands For Discounts roundup!

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Don’t Even Need To Ink About It

| Right | April 23, 2017

(I own a tattoo parlour with a highly sought after artist. He has a very unique style, and often has clients who come from all over the world to get tattooed. This means he’s booked months, even years, in advance. He doesn’t do walk-ins, and only accepts projects that he feels will let him expand as an artist. He also keeps a cancellation list with secondary projects that he will accept if a spot opens up. He’s courteous enough to accept all consultations, but generally doesn’t add anyone to his list. One Monday, our consultation day, a girl in her early twenties comes in asking for a consultation.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m here for a consultation with [Artist]. He’s expecting me.” *smiles smugly*

Me: “Actually, we don’t make appointments for consultations, but [Artist] should be done with his current consultation soon, so you’re more than welcome to wait. Do you have a particular design in mind? One of our other artists might be able to handle it.”

Customer: *rolls her eyes* “Um, no. I want to be tattooed by [Artist]. He’s got something special already planned for me.”

Me: “Ah, okay. Well then, feel free to sit down and wait.”

(We get this a lot: people trying to weasel their way into his schedule, claiming they know him, he’s a friend, he’s already designed it, etc. He’s told us to just send the people back through to him rather than creating a scene at the front desk.)

Customer: “Can I book my appointment first, though? I want [Date and Time].”

Me: “I’m sorry; [Artist] likes to make all the appointments himself. He’s very selective about who he works with. He’s actually fully booked for the next 15 months, but we might be able to put you on the cancellation list if he likes your idea.”

Customer: *rolls her eyes* “Whatever. I already told you he’s got something special for me. He’ll book me for [Date and Time].”

(I realize I’m not going to get anywhere with this girl, so I show her to the waiting room and give her a consultation form to fill out. I also shoot Artist a text warning him about his next consultation. About 15 minutes later, the girl storms out of Artist’s office, screaming profanities at Artist.)

Customer: “You’re such a f****** asshole! Do you seriously think you’re so good you can reject my idea?! I’m PAYING you to do that, so YOU WORK FOR ME! F*** you! I’m going to f****** ruin your reputation! No one will want a tattoo from you after I’m done! F*** YOU AND YOUR S***TY SHOP!”

(She slams the front door so hard she manages to crack the glass.)

Me: “Geeze, [Artist] what did you tell her?”

Artist: “The truth. I told her I’m fully booked, and I didn’t like her idea. She refused to discuss other ideas, so I told her I didn’t want to work with her. If someone’s a pain in the ass during the consult, they’re going to a nightmare during the actual appointment. Not worth the headache.”

(Later we discovered she had left very negative and very rude reviews on our Facebook page and Yelp. However, due to Artist’s outstanding reputation, she was promptly told off by many of his clients. She has also been blacklisted at many of the tattoo shops around the city.)

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Mother Needs To Screen Her Son

| Right | June 15, 2011

(I am working the front desk, where parents sign their children in every morning. We go swimming multiple times a week, so sunscreen and bug spray are on each camper’s essentials list.)

Me: “Good morning, [camper’s name]! Ready for the pool today?”

Mother: “He is! Especially since I had to buy him new sunscreen yesterday!”

(She looks at me as if, somehow, this is my fault.)

Me: “I’m not sure I follow you, ma’am. I’m sure he had some with him the other day when we went out to the park.”

Mother: “Two big bottles, yes. And could you be on the lookout for them? I’m sure he just left them somewhere around here.”

(Once again, I get the look.)

Me: “He’s lost them, then? I know he put them in his backpack after we got ready for the park, before we left.”

Mother: “They’re gone! I wouldn’t have to keep buying these for him otherwise!

(My supervisor comes over, likely hearing the commotion, as the mother has been getting progressively louder.)

Supervisor: “Good morning, ma’am. Is there something I can help you with?”

Mother: “Yes! My son keeps going through sunscreen and bug spray like nobody’s business! I can’t afford to keep buying this big bottle for him if he’s going to let your entire camp share, or leave them behind!”

Supervisor: “Well, have you looked through his backpack? It’s pretty big, and his counsellor has said that she saw him putting them away just recently.”

Mother: *offended* “I pack my son’s bag for him every day! There’s no way I would have missed them!”

Supervisor: “How about we double check, just to be sure?”

(He kneels down to the now embarrassed son, who has his backpack with him. Sitting on top of everything are the big bottles of sunscreen and bug spray. My supervisor doesn’t even have to dig around for them. The mother turns red, hastily signs her child in for the day, and promptly leaves.)

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