Gotta Love Them Regulars

, , , | Right | October 8, 2008

(This very friendly woman come in 3-4 days a week, and I am usually the one who winds up taking her money at the window.)

Me: “Hi, it’ll be two dollars.”

Customer: “Oh, you got your braces off! They look so nice!”

Me: “Oh… thank you!”

Customer: “And you got your hair cut!”

Me: “Yes, I did!”

Customer: “…I come here a little too often, don’t I?”


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Not Quite The Crema Of The Crop

| Right | September 8, 2009

Customer: “Hi, I’d like a decaf espresso.”

Me: “Certainly, ma’am.”

(I deliver the espresso to the table.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but asked for decaf.”

Me: “Yes ma’am.”

Customer: “But this isn’t decaf.”

Me: “I assure you, madam, that it is decaf. We use different machines for decaf and regular.”

Customer: *gesturing at the crema* “But I can SEE the caffeine!”

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A Few Slices Short Of A Loaf

| Working | May 3, 2013

(I am 23. I walk to a store near where I live to get some things, including a bottle of wine.)

Cashier: “Can I see some ID, please?”

(I search for my driver’s license, but can’t find it.)

Me: “Hm, I guess I must have left it at home. Just take off the wine, then.”

Cashier: “If you don’t show me some ID, I can’t sell this to you.”

Me: “I know. Just take it off, please. I’ll just get the rest of the stuff.”

Cashier: “Look, what don’t you understand? I can’t sell you alcohol if you don’t show me some ID. It’s a felony.”

Me: “What I don’t understand is on what planet bread has alcohol in it.”

(The cashier looks at my other items for a moment, and then blushes.)

Cashier: “Oh! You wanted to just buy the rest of the stuff!”

Me: “Yeah… that would be great.”

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Don’t Take Customers At Face Value

| Right | November 17, 2010

Me: “Hi, how are you?”

Customer: “You look like a serial killer!”

Me: “Um… I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Yeah, you look exactly like you’ve killed a someone, then locked them in your basement. But maybe that’s just the kind of person you look like. I don’t know, I’m not here to judge.”

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Contains Scenes Of A Fraudulent Nature

| Right | March 25, 2010

Guest: “Hi, I just accidentally ordered a movie, and I didn’t mean to. Take it off my bill.”

Me: “Let me just look that up.”

(I see that he’s had a movie voided off his bill every day he’s been here this week. I had my manager listen in.)

Me: “Sir? You say this was a mistake?”

Guest: “Yeah, I didn’t mean to order it.”

Me: “It looks like you’ve asked that a movie be voided off your bill every day that you’ve been here this week. Is that correct?”

Guest: “Yeah, it’s this stupid TV. It just starts the movies even if you don’t want them to start. It’s not my fault. I was just looking at the description.”

(My boss goes over to our cable system, where we look at each movie order and the length of time they’ve watched each movie. Based on the price, we knew he was watching ‘adult’ films.)

Me: “Sir, it looks like you’ve watched this movie for 20 minutes. Is there a reason you watched that much before calling us?”

Guest: “I don’t need the damn movie anymore, okay? I don’t need it anymore!”

Me: “Sir, that is too much information, and we will not be crediting any more movies off your bill.”

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