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Automated And Medicated

| Right | November 20, 2014

(We are the busiest pharmacy in the area, and this day is no exception. To make matters worse, we are short-staffed and our delivery truck is several hours late. I am running the drive-thru at about 6 pm, which is about 10 cars deep.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m here to pick up a prescription for [Name].”

Me: “It looks like we were out of stock of that medication, but let me check to see if it arrived on the truck.”

(I check the delivery record and we did receive the medication. However, because none of the boxes are put up, and it is the middle of the evening rush, we won’t be able to fill the order for a few hours.)

Me: “Ma’am, we did receive the medication on the truck, but we haven’t had a chance to unload the boxes yet, so if you would like to check back this evening…”

Customer: “I was told it would be ready this afternoon!”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am. Normally we would have it ready then but our truck just arrived less than an hour ago and we haven’t been able to put away the medication yet.”

Customer: “Well, someone should have called me to tell me it wasn’t ready! I drove all the way from [20 minutes away] to get my medicine and it’s not even ready!”

Me: “Are you signed up for our automated calls and text messages?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “…and you got a call or text telling you your prescription was ready?”

Customer: “Well… no…”

Me: “…”

(The customer gave me a dirty look as she angrily drove away.)

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This Customer’s Spirit Is Unsinkable

, | Right | October 15, 2012

(I am quite well-spoken and have what many people refer to as a ‘posh’ accent.)

Me: “Alright, so that will be £24, please!”

Customer: “You’re far too posh to be working in a place like this!”

Me: “Why, thank you! I do tend to hear that rather often! I’ve got to pay my way through university somehow, I suppose.”

Customer: “Ooh yes! You sound just like that Kate Winslet!”

Me: “Um, thank you! Have a good night!”

(About one week passes, when the customer comes through again, this time with her entire family in tow.)

Customer: “It’s Kate Winslet!”

Me: “Hello again! How are you all this evening?”

Customer: “I’d be better if you could just talk at my kids a second!”

Me: “Okay then. I mean, what would you like me to say?”

Customer: “They’ve been watching Titanic all week getting ready for this. Say that bit when she’s stuck on the door at the end!”

Me: “Um… ‘I’ll never let go, Jack!'”

Customer: *to her kids* “Ha! Didn’t I tell you she sounded just like her?!”

Me: “Well, I’m glad you liked it. Is there anything else I can help you all with tonight?”

Customer: “Oh, no thank you, darling. Just stay as you are. It’s so nice to be served by people that are just so happy!”

(These customers are now regulars, who not only ask me to quote Titanic every time they come through, but also got one of my coworkers to do the ‘Gangnam Style’ dance.)

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Dripocalypse Now

, , , | Right | October 5, 2009

(I work at a commercial property development/management company. I get this call from a new tenant’s office.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Company].”

Tenant: “This is going to sound crazy, but I think Armageddon might have just started in the break room.”

Me: “Okay, why do you say that?”

Tenant: “I turned on the tap, and blood came out of the faucet. So, it’s either the end of the world, or turkey blood.”

Me: “Turkey blood?”

Tenant: “We just washed out a turkey in the sink; maybe the blood got sucked back into the pipes. I don’t think we should drink the water.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s pretty alarming. I’ve never heard of that happening, but I will get you a plumber out there ASAP.”

Tenant: “Great, thanks. Everyone thinks I’m crazy, but I swear, blood came out!”

Me: “I will take care of this, don’t worry.”

(I hang up and call a plumber. While I’m waiting for the plumber to call back with a time, the tenant phones every ten minutes and is getting increasingly hysterical. I finally get a time for the plumber and call the tenant.)

Me: “A plumber should be out there within the hour.”

Tenant: “Oh. Well. Um.”

Me: “Yes?”

Tenant: “False alarm… It wasn’t Armageddon; it was Crystal Light. The powder was stuck on the tap! Everybody here’s laughing! This is only my second day of this job. I’m never going to live this down!”

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Self-Serving Stupidity Will Not Be Served

| Right | August 13, 2012

(I am a customer, standing third in line behind a very well-dressed woman in her 50s—we’ll call her Customer #1. The cashier, in her 70s, has just finished ringing out a young 20-something woman with pink hair. It is about 1 am and I am dead tired, literally swaying on my feet. There are three other customers behind me, which we’ll call Customers #2-#4.)

Cashier: *to Customer #1* “Oh dear, just a moment!”

(With that, the cashier runs off after the pink-haired customer, who has left behind a gift card she just purchased. Angrily, Customer #1 slams a 24-pack of canned drinks on the counter and turns to me.)

Customer #1: “I bet she is going to try to make me put this back in my cart, but I won’t. It’s a little game I like to play called, ‘Who’s Getting Paid for This?’”

(Note: Customer #1 has left a 40-pound bag of cat litter and 20-pound bag of cat food in her cart, both heavier than the drinks.)

Me: *shrugs*

(The cashier returns, panting and out of breath.)

Cashier: “Sorry about that. She left her gift c—”

Customer #1: “I don’t care. Just ring my purchases up!”

Cashier: “Oh, um… right, sorry.”

(The cashier rings the small items through, double-bagging the cans and folding the clothing with care, before using the hand scanner to ring up the drinks, the litter, and the cat food.)

Cashier: “Your total is [price], ma’am.”

Customer #1: “Well, it’s about time. Load my d*** cart so I can get the h*** out this s***hole!”

(The cashier sets the bags in the cart around the litter and cat food, and then looks at the 24-pack of drinks.)

Cashier: “You’ll have to set the pop in the cart, ma’am. I’m sorry, but I can’t lift it.”

Customer #1: “You can’t lift it? What kind of bulls*** is that? Why the h*** not?”

Cashier: “I can’t lift over 10 pounds; doctor’s orders.”

Customer #1: “That is none of my business. Why are you telling me this? Just do your d*** job!”

Customer #2: *to Customer #1* “You asked her why; that is why she’s telling you. Ugh!”

Customer #1: *glares at Customer #2* “Well, this is not acceptable. Get your manager over here now. Maybe he can load my cart since you are too lazy.”

(At this point, I’ve had enough and grab Customer #1’s 24-pack of drinks and set it in her cart.)

Customer #1: “What the f*** are you doing?!”

Me: “Lady, it is 1 am. I am tired and want to go home. I will load the d*** groceries in your car if it gets you out of the way faster!”

Customer #1: “You have no right to touch my groceries!”

Customer #2: “And you have no right to be such a b****. You didn’t have to lift it, she did…” *points at me* “…even though you obviously were able to put it in the cart and on the counter by yourself. You got your change, so get out of the way!”

Customers #3 & #4: *echoes of agreement*

Customer #1: “Well, I never—“

Me: “It is obvious you have ‘never.’ You have NEVER had to work a low paying job with a**hole customers who get enjoyment out of making your life harder. We get it. Now go away!”

(I set my two items on the counter as Customer #1 stomps away to customer service.)

Cashier: *crying silently* “Thank you so much.”

(Customer #2 and I stand away from the register for a few minutes talking after that. Customer #1 has caused enough trouble at this point to be escorted out of the store by the store manager and security. Afterwards, the store manager hugs his cashier and sends her to break so she can calm down. As it turns out, the cashier is his ailing aunt who has been working while getting chemotherapy. She really isn’t supposed to be working at all, but is unable to afford treatment otherwise.)

Store Manager: “There is only so much stupid I can tolerate!”

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Her Banking Days Are Numbered

, , , , | Right | February 26, 2011

Caller: “Why does the automated system say it can’t find my card?! I’ve been complaining about this for months now, and I’m really disappointed it isn’t fixed!”

Me: “Sorry to hear that. Let me see what I can find. Can I have your card number, please?”

(The caller reads off twelve numbers.)

Me: “And the last four?”

Caller: “Oh! You need all sixteen? Do you suppose that’s why it couldn’t find my account?”


This story is part of the More-Customers-Bad-With-Money roundup!

Read the next More-Customers-Bad-With-Money roundup story!

Read the More-Customers-Bad-With-Money roundup!

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