(I’m a delivery driver. This happens at the customer’s doorstep.)

Me: “That will be $26.52.”

(The customer hands me a $100 bill.)

Me: “Ma’am, we only carry $20 in change. Do you have any smaller bills?”

Customer: “Um, no, that’s stupid! Why don’t you carry more?”

Me: “It’s a safety issue. Do you have a card we can put it on?”

Customer: “How is it a safety issue for employees to give customers their change?”

Me: “If we could carry a lot of money, and people found out, we would get robbed a lot more.”

Customer: “So, you mean to tell me that they care more about their employees’ safety than customer service?”

Me: “I guess so.”

Customer: “Well, that’s bulls***!” *slams the door in my face*

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Customer: “I need a USB cable.”

Me: “For which device?”

Customer: “For my computer!”

Me: “But you will plug it in somewhere?”

Customer: “Yes, in my computer!”

Me: “But what’s at the other end of the cable?”

Customer: “What other end?”

Me: “I’m sorry, we only have that book in paperback. Would you like me to order the hardback?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m replacing a damaged book and the school library insisted that it be hardback.”

(While I begin to collect her information, the customer starts muttering sulkily.)

Customer: “We shouldn’t have to replace it. Our dog urinated on it. The pages are a little stained, but they dried. It’s not like it smells or anything. You can still read it. Those librarians are so picky!”

(I am working at the theater for a 3D movie and giving out the glasses.)

Customer: “The 3D isn’t working. I want a refund.”

Me: “Oh, well, it could just be a problem with the glasses. Let me give you a new pair.”

Customer: “You mean I have to wear the glasses?”

This story is part of our 3D Movies roundup!

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The kennel I work for offers multiple sizes and types of runs for our guests. They range from simple sheet metal with concrete floors, to sliding glass doors with a doggie door, to a private fenced patio and a TV and fancy dog bed in the run.

A family with a young girl is dropping off their dog for a week in one of the mid-price runs. They ask to walk her to the run, which we allow.

After we get the dog all set up with her bed and water bowl, the little girl says:

Girl: “So, where is Spike going to sleep?”

I’m a bit confused because the dog’s name is not Spike.

Mom: “What do you mean, honey?”

Girl: “Dogs can’t go to Disney, so Spike has to stay here, too.”

The girl pulls a stuffed dog out of her backpack.

Girl: “Where does he sleep?”

Me: “Well, why don’t I give you the tour? You can decide which run he gets.”

I take the family on the full tour just like I would anyone that asked, and the little girl decides Spike should get the super deluxe extra-large suite, of course. So, I set it up for Spike, and she puts him on the bed, pats him on the head, and tells him to be good for the week and she’ll bring him something from Disney.

As we are walking out, her father whispers:

Father: “So, how much is Spike’s room going to cost me?”

Me: “As soon as y’all are off property, Spike is getting wrapped in a plastic bag, labeled, and put in the storage closet.”

He slipped me a $50 bill!

This story is part of our Most Inspirational Of 2020 roundup!

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